I dont know what to do?

me and my bf have been together for almost 3 years but he has a daughter by another girl. his daughter lives with us but she hates me and always tells him she is gonna take his baby away from him if he stays with me. we have our own house and i just took a pregnancy test today and found out im prego. i have not told him yet though but i know he will be excited cause we were trying for one. but than all of a sudden today when we were going to his parents he was like well jade (babies mom) wants to move in and i cant let her cause you live there and that if she doesnt she wont bring his daughter back and i was like well what do u want me to do and he was all well maybe we should be friends for now but i want u to live with me still i dont think ima let her move in im just tired of her freaking out so she needs to get used to you being around(which she has not gotten used to in almost 3 years) and im totally crushed how can you just be friends after so long and now im pregnant its so hard

I dont know what to do?
Wow, I'm sorry. It sound like such a mess and I wish you didn't have to go through this. As hard is it may be, you may have to leave him if he doesn't change a.s.a.p.





First of all, get him alone. Tell him you are pregnant. Don't give him a chance to say anything before you tell him how it's going to be. Tell him you are having his baby, with or without him. Tell him you would like to stay at the house, but as his girlfriend, not a friend. His ex will NOT be moving in. He will STOP having contact with her, because he cannot keep things normal. He apparently still has feelings for this woman and it must stop. He wanted this baby. He will help take care of it. He needs to take his ex to court to get full custody of his daughter, because he is the one who is really taking care of her. She (the ex) is an unfit mother. Raising a child in a house with 3 other men isn't a home, it's a party house. The child stays with him, it needs to stay that way and you need a court order to back that up so as the crazy mother can't use the child to get to your boyfriend. Tell him that if he can't agree to this, you will be gone as soon as you find your own place and he will hear from you when the baby is born.





You do not need to come in second. You are who he is with now, you cannot go to just being friends and live in an arrangement of two families sharing a dad. You can't raise a child like that. It just simply would not work and is not worth the stress to try to make it. Don't stand up for this crap. If you do now, he will just continue to do things like this to you and eventually gain even more control over you without you even realizing it.





You have to be strong and firm. It will be very difficult but it's something you have to do.





Best of luck to you.
Reply:u need to tell him your pregnant and that if he doesnt want u or ur baby then leave, and tell him its his ex or u
Reply:I would tell him that you're pregnant. then give him an ultimatum: he either sets up custody with his daughter and lays down some rules with her mom and the two of you raise your child, or you will set up custody with him and leave. he sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too by having you both there. that sounds REALLY shady to me, and I wouldn't trust it. there's NO WAY my boyfriend's ex would move in with us. NO ******* WAY. it's either me or her. you need to make him choose because now there's a baby on the way, and you don't have time to deal with the bullshit.
Reply:He needs to be a man and talk to his babys mama! You have been around far too long for her to still be acting like that! She needs to grow up! She can't have her cake and it eat it too. He needs to be filing for joint custody of his daughter that way he will always see her! He needs to step up to the plate and stand up for himself and for you!!
Reply:pray to whatever god you believe in. obviously you love him much more than he does you, and he knows it. that is always a pity. if you want him so much, and he knows it, then i am afraid you have to give in somewhere. think hard; and decide where you can give a little so that you dont have to give up all.
Reply:I say the best thing you can do is sit down and be honest with him. He needs to know that you are pregnant and that you feel this strongly about him. He may just be at a point that he doesn't know what to do anymore. I would suggest he get a parenting plan in place with the court so that his ex can no longer use his daughter as leverage. After that all you can do is wait, by wait i mean get a house of your own if he is not man enough to stand up to her. If he is smart like he seems to be the he should come around...Good Luck and Congrats!!
Reply:hmm thats stressful. Well, take it from me my bf has another child and i got with him 2 years now and I had his child and things didnt go so well i didnt have much baby mama drama but drama from him. Him telling u to be friends is typical guy- they dont have real feelings if u ask me. They only care for themselves. he still cares for his baby mama if he is abiding to her rules. I know u love him and its hard to be apart from him but u should tell him how u feel and give him an altimatum- Im the one to talk lol- i know for one this is easier said then done. Just do what you feel is best in your heart. If you love him tell him you cant just be friends. By the way congrads prego
Reply:thats hard i feel you on that one....dam well if he really doesn't want anything to do with her and just his daughter, he will let her know. you have to tell him you're pregnant and see what happens. if you are together, YOU 2 should be living together adn his baby mom should have no influence over that. if he kicks you out and lives with her, just know you may be raising the baby on your own. it sounds like he still has an attachement to her. i know a guy my boy who has a kid by someone and shes jealous but he let her know up front that they are not together he just wants to be there for his daughter. so if he really wants to be with you he will do the same thing. good luck.
Reply:the sad thing is if you to decide to be together forever she will be in you life forever. first of all he should be a man and deal with one women in his life. YOU!!! he can not be supporting her just because she's the baby's mom. I am in a relationship where we both have kids. we have accepted the ex's are always in our lives. we only help them out for the sake of our kids like doctor bills or clothing (we have all the kids with us). be reasonable with it. he doesn't need to put a roof on her head because she can take care of herself. you guys have his daughter. worry about her. don't hide your feeling or he'll never know how you feel about it. also his daughter's mother will take advantage of it.





i wish and hope you have the straight to talk to him. it's for the best. that is my experience.
Reply:dang thats some messed up ****!!!!!!!!!!! If i were you i would tell your "ex" boyfriend that your pregnant and if he still dont want to be with you and wants to be just friends and chooses his ex to live with him i would start geting all my **** and leave. eventhough he has a kid from this other girl doesnt give him any reason to push you away. 3 years is a long time! tell him to choose his new unborn child or his ex girlfriend. ugh this situation makes me mad! i would be kickin some ***!!!!!! lol be strong dont stress. just take care of yourself and your unborn baby.
Reply:Honey, have you told him that you are pregnant, not that it should matter . if he wants to be with you he will be without that information .I think you need to move out for now he wants his cake and eat it too well thats not something you need to be involved with the stress alone is enough to cause a miscarriage . so keep that in mind as far as his baby momma is concerned let her freak out if he really wants to all he has to do is go to court and get court ordered visits with his daughter and he will if he does the right thing.